For a long time, I believed control was the key to stability — that if I could just plan enough, anticipate enough, or work hard enough, I could keep things from going off track. But the truth is, life — and work — rarely unfold according to plan. No matter how many contingencies I built, surprises always found a way in. That’s when this truth started to settle in: control is a myth.

This doesn’t mean we’re powerless. It means that our real strength lies in how we respond, not in how tightly we hold on. We can’t dictate every outcome, but we can shape our intent, our tone, and our actions when things shift. The illusion of control feels reassuring, but it often leads to frustration when the world — or a project — refuses to play by our rules.

I’ve seen this most clearly at work. I’ve led projects where the roadmap looked perfect on paper — timelines set, dependencies tracked, every scenario accounted for. But once execution began, variables multiplied: priorities changed, partners delayed, assumptions broke. Early in my career, this would frustrate me; I’d scramble to restore order. Now, I see that the goal isn’t to control the chaos — it’s to navigate it.

The best outcomes have come not from rigid plans, but from adaptive focus — the ability to realign, reprioritize, and keep the team calm when things shift. Paradoxically, the moment I stopped clinging to control, collaboration flourished. People felt more trusted, ideas became more fluid, and solutions emerged that no plan could have predicted.

The same lesson applies beyond work. Trying to control every detail of life only amplifies anxiety. But when I approach it with flexibility — accepting uncertainty as part of the process — I gain clarity, not chaos.

Over time, I’ve realized that control and confidence are not the same. Confidence comes from preparation, clarity, and composure — not from the illusion that everything will go as planned.

Control promises comfort, but acceptance delivers freedom. And in that freedom, I’ve found more creativity, calm, and momentum than control ever gave me.